Three Reasons Why

I'm poopy today

1. The Boob has returned to the office. What I thought was going to be a month long reprieve has turned into a trial continuation and his annoying presence on a daily basis. If I have to hear him preface a question with "I have a question" one more time I am going to throw something heavy at him
2. I have a sore throat, and if I wake up sick tomorrow, the date of departure for a weekend of fresh air and the ability to see stars, I will be very very upset
3. The sudden outbreak of teenage acne all over my face (ok, all over may be a slight exaggerations, but nevertheless) For some reason I did not suffer the embarrassment that is pimple-faced teen years....but now years later I am being punished. Is it karma? What did I do wrong?

Three reasons why I'm, whilst a bit poopy, also happy

1. The possibility that I will get to leave work at 2 or 3pm today. Precedent suggests that we should be receiving an email shortly stating that b/c the partners love us and respect all the work we do for them (or some other such blatant bullshit) they have decided in light of it being a long weekend we can leave early. However, if I do not receive such an email shortly, there will be a reason number four for being poopy.
   
2. I'm excited about going camping this weekend at Andrea's farm in the boondies of MO. Hopefully there will be no snake sightings, rain nor mosquitoes, b/c apparently my blood tastes yummy and I am a beacon to them.
   
3. I will not have to come to work on Monday resulting in next week being a wonderfully short work week. As will the week after that if I decide to take the day off for the Cubs game.
   

In other news who knew blogging would turn out to be so helpful

A Night of Losses

I had an email from my mum telling me that I had to blog...so since I always do what she tells me...and even though I'm tired and a bit hungover here it is :)

I am suffering from another work day hangover (although this one is quite mild, thankfully)...the result of another Cubs game and a few too many beers. I went with my old roomies and our old field hockey manager Treem who I haven't seen in over a year, so it was good to catch up.

Reverting to our college drinking ways we decided to play a drinking game based on the number of the guy who was at bat...adding the numbers together equaled how many drinks you had to take....number 19 proved difficult (1+9=10 drinks).....so as you can see I was quite toasty by the end of the game.

The first loss of the night was obviously the Cubs...they could not pull off the sweep against the Astros nor repeat the game saving 8th inning of the previous game. Boo hoo...but as I've mentioned, at this point I was a bit drunk and didn't care about the outcome of the game.

So we moved on to Sluggers, met up with some other people, cheated at Skee Ball in order to win a blue parachute man

who ended up being a major let down and traded for a paddle ball. Oh, and of course a few more beers.....stumbled down the street to the Spoke...more drinkies and some flaming chicken wings..mmm...found a cab, stumbled up the stairs to my apartment, could not get the key to work....locked out...back down the stairs...somehow found a cab and ended up on friend's couch.

Woke up this morning....had to put on same clothes worn to work yesterday...the only good thing about this place is I could show up in pajamas and no one would give a rats arse....also woke up sans wallet......second loss of the night....needless to say I'm bloody pissed. I've never lost my wallet before and it's all very annoying.

Luckily I had my ID and bankcard in my pocket. So I have no idea where it is, called the bars with no luck, too drunk to remember the cab company and have spent all day canceling shit and trying to get new cards etc...I don't care about those things but there were some other sentimental things in there...tear

This day has only been made worse due to the fact that Snuffleupagus has been lurking about my office all day...he did the same thing yesterday....it's bloody annoying....piss off ass.

I Rue the Day

Today marks my 2 year anniversary in this god forsaken cesspit. I'm still waiting for the cake and balloons to arrive in appreciation for me having put up with a rather large amount of crap....however, I will not be holding my breath.

It's hard to believe I have been here 2 years and am still no closer to getting my green card. Well, I suppose I am closer, I'm just waiting for the Dept of Labor to get off there arses and do something...grrr....

Things I have learnt in the past 2 years of working here:

1. That there are some people whose very presence elicits in me a burning white hot rage
2. That supposedly intelligent people, are in fact complete morons
3. That 5pm does not come around quick enough
4. That's it's possible and sometimes necessary not to physically talk to another person the entire working day
5. That I can get away with a hell of a lot :)
6. That I have wasted my early 20's in a meaningless & low paying job
7. That I can put up with a lot
8. That one day I will look back on this time period and laugh.....hopefully

The only good thing about this anniversay is my sick and personal days are now back in effect...I plan to make good use of them this summer :)

Preoccupation with the Reaper

I recently just finished watching the first season of Dead Like Me and it seems to have resulted in an involuntary pre-occupation with death and dying. By this I do not mean that I am obsessed with death or that I think about dying 24/7, but more so in the sense that I've come to terms with the fact that death can be so very random and we realistically do not have any semblance of control over it.
I know that it is a bit much for a television show to have this kind of effect on me, but for real, the main character dies as the result of a being hit by a flaming toilet seat that was once part of a space station and has hurtled to earth...so lately I find myself inquiring after all those quintessential questions (ooohhh...alliteration) such as "Why am I here?" "What will happen when I die?" etc. to which I thought I already had the answers, but it seems as though I need to sit down and re-evaluate some things...no biggie :)

Basically what it all boils down to is that I would be really pissed if I got hit by a bus and died tomorrow :)

Which brings up another point...as I was discussing with my sister the other day, if something drastic were to happen to me, I'm not sure if anyone knows how to get in touch with my family at home...hmmm...I mean it's not something I discuss with friends on a regular basis...oh hey if I die can you call my mum, that'd be great..cheers.....maybe I should get that sorted.

I may as well continue on with this subject....I was listening to the radio this morning and they were discussing Last Will and Testament and Living Wills....These are not something I have ever really thought about being that I'm young and have nothing of worth :) but supposedly it is in your best interest to have everything in order despite your age or wealth aka debt.

Here's a rough draft of my Last Will and Testament:

• I leave any debt to my boss or alternatively my sworn enemy at the time of my demise
  
• I leave my clothes and shoes (assuming they have midget feet) to the drunk bum that haunts the intersection down the street (this should apply regardless of where I am living)
• I leave my beloved little kitty to my sister, along with all my movies/cd's and photo albums (to be shared with my parents)
• I leave any monetary value that I may have accumulated (hahahahah...cough..choke) to my parents

Yeah, that's about it....good stuff...oh and as to the Living Will...turn the bleep bleep machine off, I don't want to be a vegetable.

Yeah, cheers, thanks a lot

Subconscious Freakouts and General Weirdness

I've been experiencing some rather weird dreams lately. Earlier this week I dreamt that I was at home at the beach with my sister and we were walking through these huge dunes/cliffs and saw these guys jumping off the rocks on bikes and skateboards. As we reached the top one of the guys leapt off and tumbled down and smacked his head on the rocks and fell into the water and did not re-surface. So I called 911 (even though it's 000 in Australia) and we made our way down to the rocks and the paramedics were there and had dragged this guy out who suddenly jumped up and yelled "Yeah!" and ran back up to the top to jump off again.

I have no idea what this means, and can't really get a satisfactory explanation from Swoon without doing it piecemeal, so here are a few interpretations:

Head
An accident or blow to the head suggest tension and/or overwork; try to take it easy for a time or have a change of scenery if possible

Cliffs
An obstacle dream of warning. Avoid any speculation or risks in the next few months, unless you were successfully scaling the cliff, in which case the augury is reversed and indicats satisfactory rewards for your efforts

The problem remains though, that these things weren't happening to me as such, so I'm not sure to what extent these interpretations apply...hmmm. But I don't mind taking it easy :)

Moving on to last night's episode featuring me pregnant...hmmm...roaming around some massive book/convenience store wishing I wasn't pregnant and trying to come up with a magic spell that would solve the problem (apparently I could do magic?) Anyway more weird stuff ensued that I can't clearly remember, ending with me being in a locker room and having a miscarriage/still born....

This, as you can imagine, freaked the crap out of me so I had to look it up...again piecemeal

Pregnancy
For a woman, this dream forecasts a happy increase in material wealth

Magic
Any form of magic in dreams predicts unexpected changes

Ooh...I liked the sound of this dream so far (change can be fun), that is, until I read the supposed meaning of the next part

Miscarriage
A still born infant is sometimes a variety of dream death, a tool used by your subconscious to switch off the co-feature when it's ready to run the main attraction. That's the best case scenario. It's more likely you're headed for a breakdown, and you need to talk to someone immediately and without editing your words. Cast out those goblins before that get you!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph...what a CROCK!...mental health wise I'm feeling pretty good lately, so screw you Swoon...but just in case maybe I should stock up on chocolate and ice cream :)

Whilst we are on the subject of the weird and wacky....I have a male co-worker who is constantly bothering me with inane questions and is one of those people who likes to invade other's personal space. While doing this last week (he was standing behing my chair looking over my shoulder) he asked me out to dinner as a thanks for helping him out.....to which I just laughed...being that he is in his late 40's, about 10 feet tall and speaks in a very deep monotone that frankly creeps me out..plus the fact that he is a man :) Now that we have sufficant background information, the whole point is, I was in the copy room yesterday (not tap dancing!) and in he comes swinging his arms about telling me in said creepy voice that he's "Mr. Snuffleupagus"

I just stared at him and said "ok, bye"

I'm at a loss for words....

Happy Friday :)

There it is

Crisis averted

Hmmm

Where the bloody hell has my blog gone....

I've given new meaning to the term

"Fly Away Hair"

I purchased some new hair stuff last night and tried it out this morning. It read "for a wind blown, tousled look" do this.....blah blah...so I gave it a whirl.

Note to self...

Do not use this product when it is actually very windy outside as when adding the already "wind blown, tousled" look to blustery winds the desired outcome is not quite the look one hopes for.
My hair now resembles that of someone who has been picked up by a tornado and tossed about for awhile and then spat out.

Grrr

In other, just as exciting news, I have finally (after having lived in Chicago for almost 7 years) purchased a Cubs shirt....woo hoo... I have been meaning to get one for awhile, but never had to in the past as someone else had two...so last night before I went into the game with my friend Mr. Wu Wu (the game was really fun, and the weather was great) I got me a Cubbies shirt :)

Due to the fact that the sizing of the men's shirts seemed to be directed to the rather big and tall and the women's were simply just too girly (I don't understand why everything has gone pink, even though the team colors are red and blue...hmmmm) I was forced to get the "youth" size. Which is all fine and well except for the fact that being it was made for pre-teen boys the chest area is a wee bit tight....but with a few good stretches that can be fixed.

Wow...this post is just too boring for words...I'm going to go do some work...that should prove just how bad this really is :)

BBQ's and Beer Pong

The Beer Pong table received quite the workout this past Saturday at the first of what will hopefully be many Summer BBQ's. Teams came, team saw, but ultimately it was The Dream Team that conquered. We were given a small run for out money by teams L&L, Franchi$e Part I, Part II and the Superstarz, but none were up to par :) Team L&L owe a Nudie Run for this sad display in one of the games

This will be repaid with interest at the next tournament. All in all a very fun night with highlights including:

1. Flaming Ping Pong Ball of death
2. An impromptu dance recital by The Dream Team
   
3. Yummy yummy food
4. Swing Dancing at nasty Carol's Pub
5. Being chain locked out of my apartment by drunky drunk roommate who wouldn't and couldn't get out of bed to let us in :) "Just go to bed" was all she kept saying, thinking we were banging on her bedroom door (and not the front door) in order for her to get up and drink more...hahah.
   

Drunken Roomies :)

Surprising, after consuming quite a large amount of beer, I felt great on Sunday, luckily as we had a 9am softball game! I can't figure out if my legs are sore from dancing all night Saturday, or squatting behind the batter at softball on Sunday in my obligatory stint as shithouse catcher :)
Boo, we lost again :( but it was fun, which is the most important thing.

So after cleaning up the shithole that was my apartment yesterday, I had a nice relaxing day eating all the leftovers and laying on the couch.

Another party is in order as soon as possible as there is a lot of left over booze!

Kickball tonight, hopefully last week's embarrassing loss will be avenged,

All is not Well in Boob Land

As much as I abhor the man I work for, aka, The Boob, there is something not quite right with him lately. He seems even more out of it and is making a lot less sense then usual, if that is even possible. It could be that we have a big trial coming up that will most surely be lost, resulting in another company downsizing and the possibility that I will not have a job for much longer...but I digress... anyway, maybe he is just stressed about that....

...or so I thought...

Whilst he was out the other day, I went snooping in his desk in search of a pair of scissors (that I later almost accidentally impaled myself with) since someone has absconded with mine..bastards...and low and behold I came across the face down picture of his 103rd mail order Asian bride (ok, a slight exaggeration, but I promise it's true) that used to be ceremoniously displayed on his bookshelf. Hmmm...It seems to me, in light of my own recent experiences in hiding photographs, that the poor little Boob has been dumped. She must have gotten her green card and gotten the hell out of dodge...much like I will be doing with regard to this hell...I mean job.

I don't know if I ever mentioned the fact that he suffers from Tourette's syndrome (it is under control and there are no obscene outbursts, although every now and then he drops a few F bombs, and then immediately apologizes, which is pretty funny) but due to his recent elevation in stress levels his twitches have become more apparent to the point where I cannot look at him in fear I will laugh. However, for some reason I have decided to be nice to him for at least the rest of the week....I have no idea what has come over me....

Good Samaritan event of the week:

I helped a little old lady across the street yesterday. She will be 85 on May 22. I hope I see her to wish her a Happy Birthday. This is the second time I have helped her and she is so sweet. Yesterday after she told me how old she was she asked me my age, so I told her, and she wistfully said "Oh, I wish I was that age again".....hmmm...I don't want to get old....anyway she then asked if I was married...uh no....did I have a boyfriend...uh no...I thought it best not to give the little old thing a heart attack.

Pet peeves of the week:

1. Supposedly intelligent people who spell "our" are
2. People who let their dogs shit on the sidewalk and don't clean it up....bastards...luckily I did not stand in it.

I'm alive

In case anyone was worried that I had fallen off the face of the earth (I know my mum has) here is part of the reason. I'm completely bogged down at work and my messy desk is driving me insane as, and I can admit it, I'm slightly anal retentive when it comes to messy desks and houses. I suppose I wouldn't be as bogged down if I hadn't wasted the entire day last Thursday fighing off the urge to vomit all over myself...Note to self..contain drinking to the bare minimum on weekdays :)

Weekend was fun, despite the fact that I could not move Saturday night or yesterday as a result of me, quite unsuccessfully, returning to the field hockey pitch. I feel like an 85 year old woman. This was quite bothersome yesterday when I tried to play softball and could not hit to save my life. Next week's game will be better on all accounts :)

I'm off to go bury myself under my desk :(

On the bright side of things....kickball tonight yay!